I was diagnosed with a disease that was supposed to get worse as I got older, but against all odds, I got better.
Shortly before my fiftieth birthday I looked out my glass door and said, “If I fell down I would never get up again. “I knew deep within something had to shift. I was losing my will to live. I was tired and, at that time, didn’t know there were options. All I knew was the deep physical and emotional pain I felt as I continued to witness my body deteriorate.
I am a woman who, through trust in inner sources of love and acceptance, has transcended a crippling and supposedly fatal disease to achieve health and wholeness. At the age of fifteen, I was diagnosed with Anterior Horn Cell disease, a progressive, degenerative neurological condition originating in the gray matter of the spinal cord, which doctors told me would leave me in a wheelchair at age twenty-five and end my life by forty. Physically, this meant I was locked inside a body slowly collapsing inward, losing muscle mass in my arms and pulling the tendons of my hands into the shape of claws. I will never forget when the chief of neurology at a prominent New York hospital, stood at the end of my bed and said in no uncertain terms, “There is nothing we can do for you, and the disease will continue to spread throughout your spinal column.” At fifteen years old, I was given that death sentence and became the basis for all my life decisions. Although a successful professional with a Master’s degree in occupational therapy, a wife and a mother of two healthy children, I always felt like damaged merchandise. I was dis-abled even if I could fool the world.
My inner story started with suffering. It took forty years of battling the effects of a crippling disease before I decided not to suffer anymore. After eighteen surgeries, and exhausting the medical field of any potential cure, I made a decision to step boldly into a world I knew nothing about-spiritual and energetic healing modalities. I understood the possibility of healing lies in the psyche and takes root where disunion between mind and body ceases to exist.
“Either I heal or I’m out of here,” I stated emphatically to the Universe, after a three-hour healing session with a medical intuitive/shaman/ clinical psychologist.
I began to recognize that healing was not just a physical event but rather it was soul deep, cellular in nature, and that the wounds of my heart would eventually heal every piece of my being and reveal my true. I made a total commitment to becoming healed; knowing with certainty there would be no short cuts, no magical cures. My belief was pure and my vision was guided. Nothing would stop me on my path.
My personal experience of transmuting a lifelong debilitating disease by healing the heart gave birth to my life purpose. My work is to assist others to heal the breach and step bravely into wellness.
And this is why.
My story began in trauma. A birth not celebrated, a baby born two-months premature whisked away to an incubator, a mother divorcing her biological father at two and his subsequent death at age three, speaks loudly to a traumatic start to life. My mother was young, overwhelmed and conflicted.
Cellular stress develops when there is discordant energy between mother and child. As proclaimed in my book, Unlocking the Invisible Child, every child has a right to be fully seen, fully heard, fully present. If not, we will form a dis-ease, be it emotional, psychological, physical or spiritual.
I believe that the message I received in the first four years of life was that I didn’t belong (primary need) and my body received the message. Cellular stress and fight-flight survival re-action runs havoc on our emotional and physical bodies causing dis-ease. We are not aware on a personality level this is happening behind the scenes in our very aware physical bodies. My physical body knew I wasn’t receiving the love from my mother the way I needed to be loved. Instead my mother loved me her way!
When my physical disease appeared at the age of fourteen, I had no clue this was a physical manifestation of my heart pain. It took forty years to recognize the connection.
I bring this connection to my clients to provide the door opening for:
*Greater insight from specific limiting story.
*Ownership of simple actionable steps for your desired results.
*Clear understanding of core challenges.
*Relationship between current life and core challenge.
*Clarity around what it will take for you to create the life you desire.
Whatever the issue is that causes heart/soul pain is the place to begin the deep dive to wholeness. For you it may be residual anger at a parent, sadness due to unfulfilling relationships, or an inability to honor and respect yourself. The place you are stuck is the place to start.
Client’s soon understand and find relief to why they continue to repeat patterns which cause pain, shame, grief and heart ache. Traveling back to the root issue, provides a wonderful opportunity to heighten your awareness and gain freedom and understanding. Clients often say, “Of course I do this because this is what happened right from the beginning.”
For example, one of my clients was a 46-year-old cellular biologist desperately believed she had to win a noble prize or she wouldn’t be good enough. Our work focused on going to the root of her inadequacy, even with her achievements. Once we discovered the root (her father telling her at age six she would never be good enough) she opened widely to healing the breach and rewriting her story.
With my client Lynn, in our first session we identified the root cause of her limiting beliefs which were based on early trauma. This empowered her to move forward, focusing on her endless possibilities.
Client’s quickly find relief in why they repeat patterns over and over which cause pain, shame, grief and heart ache. Traveling back to the root issue, provides the opportunity for heighten awareness and increased clarity. This also provides a clearing to shift the shame and blame, becoming responsible for your life choices. That’s when healing happens. Clients comment with a sigh of relief, “Of course I do this, it’s been happening since birth.”
When I work intergenerational, the focus is on both participants is to be fully seen, fully heard, fully present. As an example, in session with a seventy-five-year-old mother and her fifty-four-year-old daughter, we uncover the reasons for a lifetime of shame and pain of neither parties ever feeling seen and heard by one another. After the third session, the mother shares she is no longer doing this for her daughter, but rather for herself. Huge healing shift. Within two sessions, both parties became open and more understanding of one another’s stories, shifting their core relationship.
The recognition of what was, allows a shift in what is, and what can be. As we go through the discovery process it opens the doorway to new possibilities of how you react or respond, viewing life through different eyes, leaving you with a belief system that empowers you to live life the way you choose. This is what it means to drop the story, write a new one.
For example: the inherent stress, the anxiety the birth mother carries, her relationship to the birth father, whether the baby was planned or unplanned, are all programed into the cellular makeup of the baby being formed deep within the womb. Patterns are encoded into your cellular makeup which establish the blue print for your future. The unwanted child continues to feel unwanted. Birth order traits, characteristics and attitude of sibling competitiveness continue throughout your adult life. We are equally endowed with our parent’s genetic and energetic DNA. I have been a witness to this recapitulation in every client to date. While the original experience brought trauma for many, the relief of shifting perception/attitude brings comfort to their life in the present.
I work with individuals and families who do not feel fully heard, fully seen, fully present. I help them live a more aligned and fulfilling life. Together we formulate new imprints by uncovering, discovering and recovering from beliefs that are not yours to hold, but rather beliefs past down generationally.
Say YES to your ultimate healing!!!